Friday, February 13, 2009

Noises In My Head

It is currently very cold in my room, my skin feels foreign, bumps occupies its' surface. It feels tight and my scars are fainter. I hear my parents talking outside, despite everything it's some what comforting hearing my dad. I have been putting many things off, taxes, getting a new planner...

I just finished A Wolf At The Table. It was very good.

Right now I feel like my music has loss some of it's taste. I'm looking for something that is hard to find.
I'm happy, today was a good morning, despite being cold and having that awful morning taste in my mouth.
Work has been going well, I think I am learning a lot and I have found what I need to do, not need but want to do. I was floating around looking for something to anchor me and I think I've found it.

I don't think I am random...

Today I might ride my bike, I don't know yet.

Yesterday some one asked if I was interested in some special brownies, I answered no, but in my head I thought about it, I considered saying yes, but only in my head. The guy said if I ever change my mind let him know. He wants to be a principal some day.
The girl next to us told me I was a genius, I'm far from a genius, I am only intelligent cause I work hard, if I don't get something I figure it out, very few things I get instantly. But I said thanks and replied I just have a good work ethic.
The girl across the table kept on touching and invading my space. I don't think on purpose because the lab class room was cramp.

I started changing things I do in my life, I have a set of chopsticks in my car, just in case I go to a noodle house or sushi place. I have been refilling my water bottle instead of getting a new one, maybe next month I'll upgrade to a non disposable water bottle. I bring my own fork and spoon to school just in case I eat lunch there. Normally I bring my own lunch. I am both saving money and saving unnecessary waste. Even my shower habits are changing. I take shipshowers every other day. Meaning I get wet, turn off the water scrub and brush my teeth scrub my face and turn back on the water when I am ready to rinse.

I think I am just talking now to empty my head, I always feel like if I say or write something it leaves my head and opens up room for other things.

Well bye.

-Rikki

1 comment:

Evolve said...

Maybe its just a sound you're listening for, clearing everything else out or changing the station. Maybe its time to turn off whatever is inside and listen to the sounds you've never heard before. Or maybe there is a voice that you need to walk away from because you were fine before you ever heard it. No matter what noise you hear, its moving, making waves to either increase your awareness or find empty space to fill.